Blava, Slovakia

sent by an anonymous girl 15-Dec-95 as a response to the call of the foundation Drug and You

Soon I will be 15 years old. But I am afraid I may soon be history. It started innocently, a common way. At first with smokes. Then came pot and now sometimes, it is hard drugs. Everyone preaches how bad it is and all that dumb stuff. But you can't imagine how cool the high is. Man, it's really cool ! I'm literally flying. I know you think I'm fooling myself, but I can still keep it under control. At a disco, I'll have something stronger. At school, I would only have joints. But that's all. Then I feel relaxed. I even advanced to high school. So why did I tell you I'll soon be fucking history? 'Cause, even though I control it, I don't care at all if I become addicted. I hate my body. I hate myself !
Why ? I was 13 when my boyfriend raped me. Nobody knows this but my smokes. My parents would lock me up or take me to a doctor. It would make no sense. I am satisfied with my life.

Blava

Think about the following questions:

Do you think Blava still has it under control ? By the way, why did she use the word "still" ?
Can "the cool high" be achieved in other ways ?
Do you think Blava started using drugs because her boyfriend raped her ?

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